In no particular order, it’s time to delve a little deeper into another one of the NLP Presuppositions.
This time it’s number 5
You cannot not communicate. Effective communicators accept and utilize all communication presented to them.
Let’s talk about the first part of this presupposition. You cannot not communicate, just like you cannot not make a decision, or as is becoming more important as election day draws near, you cannot not vote. Not really.
When you’re not communicating, you’re saying volumes. When you’re not making a choice, you’re really choosing. When you aren’t voting, you’re letting another’s vote count more.
Of course words matter.
The words you choose, and perhaps, in an odd way the words you don’t choose, form the basis for your communications.
Communication isn’t just about words
Your body language, your tonality, the energy and emphasis you use or don’t use all imbue your words with greater meaning.
Does your voice rise at the end, indicating a question? (Or a particular regional accent?) Does your tone indicate sarcasm and a completely opposite meaning to the words you are saying. Is there a wink wink nudge nudge in case the innuendo was lost in translation?
And things much more subtle and difficult to describe.
Studies have shown that this kind of non-verbal information conveys between 65 percent and 93 percent of your meaning. That means the words themselves may account for as little as seven percent.
You’re always communicating
And being communicated with.
Choosing not to speak is communicating information. Your expressions and gestures and actions (and silence) continue to speak long after your words have stopped.
Here’s to clarity
If you’re struggling to understand, what is the other person communicating in addition to their words?
If you’re feeling misunderstood, what are you communicating besides your words?
And remember, the meaning of your communication is the response you get.
Learn more about NLP
Explore the other NLP Presuppositions:
- The map is not the territory.
- The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
- You have all the resources you need to achieve your desired outcomes.
- Every behavior is motivated by positive intention. People make the best choices they can with the resources they have available.
- You cannot not communicate. Effective communicators accept and utilize all communication presented to them.
- All outcomes are achievements, there is no failure, only feedback.
- The element in a system that has the most flexibility will be the catalyst of that system.
- Respect each person’s model of the world.