Secret Decision Making Strategy – The Second

Deciding by the flip of a coin isn’t my only secret decision-making strategy.

Sometimes I look for clues, and the best clues come from me.

In fact, the more clues I give myself in the form of reasons why something might be good for me to do, the more clear my answer becomes.

But it’s probably not what you’d expect.

The longer the list of why this is potentially a good thing, the more likely it’s a no.

Wait, what?

Yes.

I’ll say it again.

The more reasons you come up with to explain to yourself why this thing you’re considering is something you should do, the more likely the answer is no.

Let’s say you heard about a workshop on the Untold Riches of Yawning.

You think to yourself, hmmm, maybe I should go to that workshop on the Untold Riches of Yawning? But, you aren’t sure.

Then you start coming up with reasons:

A. My friend Penelope went to one, and she liked it, so maybe I will too.

B. While I yawn pretty regularly, maybe there’s some secret to yawning that I don’t know yet, and perhaps, I could possibly learn it at this workshop.

C. There could be really cool people there, and I probably want to meet them, because I’m pretty sure I’ll like anyone who’s into the Untold Secrets of Yawning.

You’re still unsure, so you come up with more things.

1. I’m not sure I should spend the money, but it’s about untold riches, so maybe I’ll learn something that could possibly be useful.

2. I don’t know if I should go to the Untold Riches of Yawning workshop or the How to Convene a Group of Stuffed Animals workshop.

3. And this.

4. And that.

5. Then there’s this other thing.

And so on, and so on, and so on.

Here’s the trick of this.

You’re rational, reasoned, organized mind thinks, yes here is a whole valid list of reason why I should go to this thing! So you think you should go.

But.

The intuitive, sensitive, creative part of your mind feels like it’s getting the hard sell. Getting talked into doing the thing because of all the potential things that could happen, and even more scary, all the things you could miss out on by not doing it.

And that is why, at least at this point, it’s a no.

In spite of the long list of probably perfectly valid benefits of going, those benefits are thinly veiled fears. They are rationalizations and attempts to convince yourself to not miss the potentially, possible things, that might perhaps happen.

Another way.

When you find yourself with the long list of reasons, go beneath them. Get curious.

What are the qualities you are hoping to experience at the Untold Riches of Yawning workshop?

What qualities are you wanting more of now?

What’s the desirable quality underneath each question?

As you delve into those qualities, fill yourself up with them.

Then, as you’re feeling full of those qualities, ask the original question. If I’m wanting to fill up on, deeply experience, these particular qualities, is this a place where I can do that? Are the other ways I can do that? Is there something more suitable?

You are then much more likely to have a clear answer. A clear yes. A clear no.

Another secret.

If you’re still in the world of maybe, let it be a no for now.

Photo Credit: Question Mark Grafitti by Bilal Kamoon

 

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