Know who cares? The United States Postal Service. Know how I know? They told me. They told me WE CARE in big giant, bold block letters at the top of the plastic bag in which they carefully sealed the shredded remains of a piece of my mail. Which I found wadded up in the back of my PO Box.
I’m glad they told me, because otherwise I wouldn’t have figured it out. The clues just weren’t that good.